Clothes Swap
by shecat105
Summary: Small little oneshot where Kyle and Cartman decide to play as each other to spice things up.


Looking at himself, Kyle had no idea how Cartman had managed to convince him to play as each other. The heavy sweatshirt hung loosely on his slim frame. He had no way of keeping the sleeves off his hands without rolling them up, and even then it looked dorky. The hat wasn't any better: stretched to its limits in its old age, it sat like a mop on Kyle's curly hair mass. Cartman would certainly have laughed at him if he weren't struggling with Kyle's hat and coat.

"Quit that, you're going to stretch out my coat," the ginger scolded, pulling on the sweater again.

Cartman gave up trying to zip the coat around him and let it hang on his shoulders. His arms felt constricted in the tiny sleeves, not to mention they didn't reach down to his wrists at all. The hat on the other hand fit quite comfortably. Cartman could see why Kyle liked it so much.

"So, how do you propose we do this?" Kyle asked.

Cartman shrugged sheepishly, "Er, I don't know. I didn't think I'd get this far."

Kyle rolled his eyes, crossing his arms, "You didn't even have a starting point?"

"I don't know," Cartman shuffled in place, "I act like you, you act like me. Figured it'd be pretty easy."

"Says the guy with no soul."

Cartman raised an eyebrow at that. Kyle gave him a cute side smirk to let him know the game had begun. Cartman smirked back with devilish glee, "You're right, _Cartman_. I don't have a soul. You were always right. You're so handsome and smart and sexy!"

"Goddammit, Cartman," the redhead buried his face in his palm.

"Don't break character, Kyle."

"How about you be _in_ character then?"

"I am in character." Cartman struck a dramatic theater pose, "I am Kyle Broflovski. A ginger Jew that is madly in love with his handsome and perfect boyfriend."

Kyle's first thought was to point out he would never say "perfect", but another, more playful thought bounced in. "Why yes, now that you mention it, I, Eric Theodore Cartman, am very handsome and oh so perfect. But I could lose a few pounds. _Kahhl_?" The ginger exaggerated Cartman's speech with his name, causing the other to hold in a laugh. "You are oh so much more intelligent and terribly small. What is the best way to lose some weight?"

Cartman stroked his chin in thought, "Well, _Cartman_. I think I know of a way you can burn some fat _and_ have fun doing it."

"Tell me, Kaahhl."

Cartman smirked seductively, taking a few steps towards Kyle. He stared into those leafy eyes with desire for a few seconds. Then he lifted Kyle off the floor by his waist, threw him on the couch, and pinned him down with tickling fingers against his ribs. Kyle burst into uncontrollable laughter, begging his boyfriend to stop. Cartman feigned it a few times, increasing the tickles every time. Eventually he did stop, straddling the smaller man beneath him. Both stared into each other's eyes: Cartman with calm adoration and Kyle with happy suspicion. He was still waiting for another tickle attack.

Instead, Cartman leaned forward to give the Jew a loving and gentle kiss. Kyle relaxed under the act, returning it with just as much admiration.

It lasted only a few seconds, but Cartman kept his face close. He could feel Kyle's breath on his lips. "Nothing beats tickles."

Kyle chuckled, "I can think of one thing that might beat it. And burn more calories."

"Oh, what's that, fat boy?"

Kyle reached up, wrapping his arms around Cartman's neck, "I could fuck your little Jewish ass."

The directness caught Cartman a little off guard. Kyle was normally the more reserved one. Until deep into the act, of course. But, he was pretending to be him after all. " _Cartman_ , don't be so crude."

Kyle pulled Cartman closer, touching their foreheads together, "Come on, _Kaahhhl_ , I know you want it. I bet you can just imagine my dick inside you, claiming you. Making you mine."

Cartman's heart rate increased. Now he knew how Kyle felt when he talked like that. His face felt like a radiator and his groin began to churn delightfully.

On the other side, Kyle could definitely see the pleasure Cartman got from seeing him blush and stutter. It was cute as hell and very, _very_ arousing.

"Bedroom. Now."

Cartman instantly slipped off of the couch and raced to the bedroom, Kyle quick on his heels.


End file.
